The holy kill..............

The holy kill

And here is he,

the demon who calls himself

cruel and strong

and me a man,

weak and innocent.

he brings a knife and give it to me..

whispers into my ears-

brother go stab.

be strong, be cruel,

be like me.

i deny- I am a man,not a demon,

I don’t love to kill,

Nor do I kill to love like you

let me be weak,let me be kind

he laughs and says-

No, you aren't,

you are not a man,

you are a devil,

Just like me.

The other part of me

time to prove buddy, time to prove.

i refuse,

he goes and stabs them all,

One by one

with no merc y.

blood all around,

tears in my eyes.

Then he says.

bravo-brother you made it.

you are so strong now,aren't you?

I am proud,you are strong

we both are the same.

I am a demon so are you,

I am strong, so are you.

then i look at my hands.

oh god,the knife in my hand,

o god, I did stab,I did kill.

I am get weaker and weaker,

Not strong

for I killed,

killed the innocent

you never even become strong,

even when you kill the guilty.

my hands drenched all in blood,

oh god I can't believe,

with blood in hands I can't live,

killing the innocent.

What about a punishment

I think.

I take the knife,

become brave and

then slit my throat

Stab myself thousand times.

100 times for killing each.

Each of them

but I don’t die.I am awake,

I am not asleep.

Oh god I am alone.

thank god, the demon is gone,

the evil so cruel.

the evil so strong,

but then these voices ask,

will you ever kill?

kill the innocent around.

Brother can you hear ,

Yes I do fear, i could,

but I am not a demon.

I am a man,weak and kind

if at all I fear so much

Beyond my control

that I might kill,

I will rather kill the demon first.

then I would kill myself next,

quench the blood thirst with my own blood.

to keep them safe,

the innocent.

And,

It shall be called.

the holy kill.

o,

Not at all brother,

the voices speak,

never ever kill yourself,

kill the demon

and you shall save yourself,

if you are killing yourself,

you are killing the innocent,

you become the demon,

its not a holy kill

kill the demon,

kill the fear

you shall be strong,

you shall be kind.

and you shall save yourself

thats called

The holy kill

Suresh Jyotipunja

from novel-'the story inside'..a novel by suresh jyotipunja

'I had told her that when I cry,the sky does.she didn't believe .she was just standing there with an empty look trying to figure out what I was talkng about.may be she thought-I was crazy, in the world of my fantasy.Then there was this day,when I was standing by her side with tears in my eyes.It started raining like cats and dogs.i wiped my tears off and said-don’t you see honey,don’t you see that? tears and my eyes and tears in the sky.she was puzzled and said ,'Are you alright?'.and then a miracle happened in front of our eyes. lights in the sky, all around, lights between the raindrops. i smiled and replied -honey,I am alright,don't you see that?lights all around between the rain drops, cool lights, and a smile with tears. she was puzzled more and asked.'hey are you crazy'.i didn't have guts to say that-yes dear I am,I am for so long crazy. but how sane you are?

The basics...........

The basics

I was thinking
of right and wrong,
When I didn’t know
how to walk.
I thought of singing a song,
When I didn’t know
how to talk.
I know,
its so numb,
You don’t feel sorrow, pain,
I know,
its so dumb
To talk about loss and gain
When you don't know,
What is sun,
what is rain.

Suresh Jyotipunja

The experiment...

'supernova'...my first english song............

When I was four. He was three.

चलेपछी सबैतिर नाउँ हजुरको.........

गजल
आकासिँदो रहेछ भाउ हजुरको।
चलेपछी सबैतिर नाउँ हजुरको।

ओखतिले छुँदैन निको नहुने रोग,
बल्झिएला त्यही घाऊ हजुरको।

भर केही छैन हारजित भन्ने कुरा,
नपर्न सक्छ फेरी दाउ हजुरको।

दिएपछी आफुले पाउने हो सम्मान,
ढोग्ने त्यो परकै पाउ हजुरको।

ज्योतिपुण्ज होइन अरुजस्तै कमल,
नियालेर हेर्दा तलाउ हजुरको।

आकासिँदो रहेछ भाउ हजुरको।
चलेपछी सबैतिर नाउ हजुरको।